Posted by: incywincy | February 16, 2007

Bitter

Saw this quote on a secondary school friend’s MSN nick: “Never make someone a priority when they only make you an option.”

Sometimes, I really do care more about my friends than they do about me. What kind of sad life is that?

I am too giving. I wouldn’t say that she’s the only one who sincerely cares about me, but maybe she’s the only one whose sincerity and concern and warmth I can feel. Who am I talking about?

My dearest Lala, of course! Hehe.

Over the 3 days that I was working in NUS earlier this week, she spent, maybe, 8 hours with me. And of course, she’s like this little girl who is so adoring, so caring, and so appreciative of everything. And they say kids are the most sincere and true in showing their feelings – that’s exactly how Lala is! Hehe.

Anyway, friends. Who are my friends? Sometimes we get so caught up with our own lives that we don’t even think of our friends. I try to, though. And I want to let them know that I care. But maybe BB is right – I’m always the one making the effort, sparing the time and thought, and taking the first step to contact them, do something for them, show them I care.

Sometimes unreciprocated, sometimes unappreciated, sometimes ignored. And sometimes, just sometimes, forgotten.

Maybe I treat some friends as my pals, chums, buddies; yet, they may not feel the same way about me. So what about all these friendships forged these days? What is the point?

I know I sound bitter, and contradicting, and confusing, and pessimistic, and whatever.

Thank you Lala for always making time for me when I am in NUS. Thank you Uzyn for taking the initiative to ask me for lunch in NUS. Thank you Chee Ching for climbing stairs and walking under the hot sun to come see me. Thank you Dawn for dropping by to say hi despite your busy schedules in medical school. Thank you Adam for asking how I am when you came by. Thank you Xiaoli for making the 3 working days a memorable and fun one.

Dad’s got home from Surabaya on the evening flight tonight. We drove in to Changi to pick him up, and Mom, Doreen and I just talked and talked and talked. It’s good to have family by your side.

I cannot wait to finish up this stupid HRM project, hand it in, and then finally relax for a few days for CNY, before killing myself over the exams again. Who the hell makes students study for exams during CNY, and then set the exam dates barely 1 week after the first day of CNY?

Excellent, innit? The school also managed to screw up the Europe holiday that I’m supposed to go on with my family before attending Elaine’s convocation in July. The whole family will be in Europe for summer, less yours truly. Depressing. Let’s just hope they don’t shorten the end of July holidays, because I intend to go to Cambodia!

I am just looking forward to that. It will be me and BB, 9 days in Phnom Penh and Siem Reap. I’ve got it planned, more or less, and have budgeted for it. Tonight I also got Daddy to agree to sponsor my trip, so I’m happy. Let’s hope nothing screws up!

Back to the blasted project. Bless me.


Responses

  1. i totally understand what you mean because i feel that way sometimes too.

  2. girls are just complicated.

    their friendship(s) [mehhh~~] too… =S

  3. veli complicated..

    have juz done some exercise.. carry the books and files back home, then bring here again untouched…

    anw, really have fun back home, but too short.. yea start exam on this fri right, same day yea..

  4. Maya: see, only we understand. all these men. *sigh*

    BB: mehhh.

    xiaoluo: u shdnt hv brought it home mah!! hahahaahah. my exam nxt mon.. hee~ mon n wed.


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